Non-investing related post: Life and regret.

Today I wish to take time off from talking about investment guidelines and a little about what is happening to my life recently. Basically a bit on my reflections on life a little.

Some events happened recently that got me thinking a bit.

First, my mum fell from her bike while on the way back home. She didn’t suffer a fracture or any broken bones, fortunately. At her ripe old age of 68, this would be considered more than fortunate. 
She had probably done a fair bit of reflection on her own and is very concern with my future (I am very much into my mid-life period and still single). Frankly, I do not think I deserve to be with anyone, and I do not have anything to offer. 

 

There is some lady in my mind all these while and I do think of her from time to time. But as time passes, it become a fading dream. I don’t think I would ever muster the courage to ask her out again… what do I have to offer?

 

Like any unproductive person on the web, I chanced upon this youtube clip featuring Deshauna Barber. 

Take 10 minutes to listen to this. 

It was a story of perpetually trying to be the next Ms USA. Besides the tagline: If not you, who else? The takeaway was…

do not fear failure, but be terrified of regret.

 

Clearly I have a lot of regrets in my life.

 

If I could turn back the clock, there are a huge list of things I wish I would not do. The top of the list is to tell my mum about diabetes. Stop those punishing carbohydrate-heavy meals. 

 

My biggest regret is that at the age of 68, my mum have to watch what she eats at every moment. I fear one day that she might suffered from irreversible kidney damage. My mum had mild depression, and I do worried that it could get worse when life becomes more punishing. More cruel.

 

So ever since my mum had diabetes, I am trying to do some good in this life, trying to accumulate some karma. I donated more money. I try my best to teach people on investing. Although not many people listen, I still keep trying.

And I still think I am a failure as a son.

 

The second even that happened recently was me rewatching this crap of a movie call “20^th Century Boys.” It wasn’t very well made in many measures. But the ending was quite significant. What we do in life can have very far-reaching consequences. Many bad things that come your way could have been prevented if you had done the simple things, such as apologizing. Don't wait until you are too old to regret about the things you done.

 

This movie tied in with my thoughts about regrets.

 

Thank you for reading if you are, and for allowing me to have some sort of catharsis with writing.

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PS: Right now, I do think about how meaningless and aimless my life is. I am kinda sick of it. I do think about going on some bike charity ride to raise funds for a meaningful cause....